We asked some friends to come up with a few questions on marriage, so here we go!
Q. Jonathan, how do you get back on Elisa’s good side if she’s upset or having a bad day?
A. Use those Publix BOGOs to bring her some sweets or ice cream. Then she’s more open to talk it through.
Q. Elisa, how about you?
A. He likes hugs. Snuggles and foot rubs work too.
Q. What is the best marriage advice you’ve ever received?
A. “You before me.” We still remember sitting in our seats at Access Church thinking, Lis Burns, your are a genius.
Q. Is resolving conflict in marriage harder than in dating? And how so?
A. Well, conflict is conflict, and conflict is HARD. But, overall conflict seems a little easier in marriage because of how well we know each other now.
Jonathan – When we were dating, sometimes it felt like Elisa was speaking a foreign language….and that language was silence. I didn’t get it. But, now that we’ve taken the time to develop our relationship with honesty and intentional conversation, I can almost read her mind and anticipate her needs. It is magical.
Q. When having moments where you get tired of each other in marriage , how would you handle that?
A. We are weird. We never really get tired of eachother. But our advice would be to remember Lis Burn’s advice and remember that your spouse is a miracle and an answer to prayer. And, if you are really feeling “tired” of your spouse, you need to ask yourself “why?” and come up with a plan of action to get back to a place of thankfulness and servanthood.
Q. What are some things that you wish you knew going into marriage that you would give to newlyweds?
Elisa – I wish I would have known Me a little better. It sounds weird, but during a relationship you seem to be hyper-focused on each other – googly eyes and everything. But, my past was and is full of unresolved issues and baggage that I never even realized I held until holding it got in the way of holding onto my husband.
Jonathan – From my perspective, understanding the process your spouse needs to go through to figure things out. Sometimes it’s better to focus on their process, or even the solution, rather than their issue. As guys, we just want to fix everything. But really we should be supporting our spouse through the process.
Well…we are excited/nervous/happy to announce that we will be launching a series of short videos about marriage. They will be funny and serious and real. We hope to help someone somewhere gain some knowledge, wisdom, or just a good laugh. See you soon and Happy Valentines Day!
Photo Credit – Ashley Sanchez Photography