I was not a good mom today.

My words were not kind and the fruit I bore was not sweet. My anger was quick, and the heart I did wear on my sleeve was not pretty. It did not overflow with joy or kindness, patience, or even goodness.

I was not a good mom today.

When I woke, I did not spring out of bed with a joy beyond understanding. When I served, I did so out of necessity instead of selflessness. When I spoke, my words were sharp. As I led, my ears were closed and my mouth was wide open with hypocritical instructions. Things like – “Be nice!” “Don’t be rude!” “We don’t yell!”…Ha!

I was not a good mom today.

I missed the beauty around me by daydreaming of the beauty that could be. I selfishly wasted precious moments away by keeping my eyes behind a lens instead of at leveled eyes with my three babies. I prioritized poorly by placing replaceable tasks over irreplaceable people.

I was not a good mom today.

My children stilled squeezed me with relentless hugs and poured out every ounce of love they could offer. They still called me Mommy. They still followed me around. They still stole my food and shared my drinks. They still begged me for stuffy nose remedies and the “just right” blanky. They still wanted bed time hugs and good night kisses.

I was not a good mom today.

My Father still urged me onward. My Lord still whispered His undying love. My Creator still blew His breath in my lungs, and saw that I was still good.

Photo Credit – Ashley Holstein